Daycare: To Go or Not to Go?

Jordan is now almost 4 MONTHS OLD and is growing so much every day. He's now figured out he can coordinate his hand movements and is playing with the toys on his swing now. He's also holding on to us when we are holding him and is starting to try and hold his bottles too. He is so much fun to watch! We just love our little guy! I'll be sure to post an update after our 4-month doctor visit next week.

He has been in daycare for 4 weeks (Well, technically only 3 -- he stayed home this week). Monday, March 14 was his first day of school. Fortunately, Mondays are my late night at work, so he was only there for about 4 hours. All morning, I was fighting tears and trying not to think about leaving him. Andy came home during his planning period to go with me to the daycare (he knew I wouldn't be able to leave him if I was alone). When I pulled into the daycare parking lot, I completely lost it. I couldn't even get out of the car. Andy helped me calm down and we finally got Jordan into his classroom, and met his teacher and his new classmates. It wasn't bad. But I was hanging on to my composure by a tiny microscopic thread. We left the room and were walking out when we stopped to talk to an Assistant Director for a second. That's when I heard a baby from Jordan's class start crying. I lost it and started crying again in front of the Assistant Director. I just kept saying "Jordan can't be crying when I leave him on the first day! I'll never be able to do it!" But I made a point to not go back to check because if it really had been him, I never would have made it to work.

I spent the night crying my eyes out telling Andy I couldn't take him back, that I wanted to quit my job. But of course, we can't give up my paycheck so I had no choice. By now, I've gotten sort of into a routine with taking him every morning. But of course, it still kills me to leave him each day. It's just not the same as Mommy or Daddy watching him. Although, I do realize he's doing so well with the socialization and interaction with others during the day. He's such a sweet baby!

A week into daycare, Jordan was coughing and sneezing more than usual, though he seemed to feel ok and didn't appear to be sick. But of course, my first thought was, "Go Figure. He's been 100% healthy ever since the day he was born and right away, as soon as he gets to daycare, he starts getting sick." Talk about feeling like a crappy horrible mother! Well, I called the pediatrician and the nurse said, of course, that we can't give him anything, except use a cold mist humidifier in his room and use a nasal aspirator to clear his nose when he gets congested. So we did that for almost 2 weeks and it wasn't helping.

This past Monday, I had the day off (because I worked Sunday) and so Jordan was at home with me. I am SO glad I was home! He was so upset and crying all day long, I knew something was wrong. He wouldn't sleep well in his crib, and he was crying so hard most of the day, that he refused to take a bottle, which is so not like him. Jordan rarely cries. Only when he is hungry and immediately stops when he is being fed. For him to cry for an entire day, I knew something wasn't right. So I took him to the doctor, and sure enough -- he had his first ear infection! Poor thing, I felt so awful! He was in so much pain and probably got it from the cold he got at daycare! I know I can't protect him from ever getting sick, but man, it makes me feel so guilty to know that he started getting sick immediately after going to daycare. I feel like such a bad mommy!

Luckily, after 3 days of antibiotics, he is acting much more like his usual self and very happy. His fever is gone and he's smiling and laughing with us again. But we decided to keep him home from school this week, just to make sure he's well again. (He was only going to go Tuesday-Thursday anyway since I have Monday & Friday off this week.) I would hate for him to get another baby sick because we took him back too soon.

So, in the first month of daycare, we've also had to deal with Jordan's first sickness. Kind of tough when Mommy hasn't racked up any vacation/sick time at work yet since I've been back. I think we may have to wait another 5 or 6 years before having baby #2 just because it might take me that long to save up leave time again! LOL!